I believe he has a power that allows him to influence the minds of others. So... I would wish for this power to be gone, so that his rule over the manor may end. If that happened... maybe the children could take the manor for themselves. Or they could run away. They would be free to choose.
...They really did this to you. The cult and their fucking rituals.
[I never intended to find my partner. I was never going to do it, but.]
I wish it wasn't you. I wish -- [his voice breaks] you hadn't killed him. I don't want you to kill someone else. But I don't want you to die like this.
[he's been told by so many people here to think about his feelings. to think about what he wants. to be free to be himself. to live how he wants without thinking of anyone -- just him.
...anyone else would think that means keeping his own life safe, and walking away from this moment. it's the smart decision. it would mean his life would be his, if only for a little longer. it's what Gramps would expect from him, the entire Bookman clan whose legacy rests on his shoulders. it's what some people who'd encourage him to do the selfish thing would want him to do too.
but in the end, maybe the person Lavi is will always be someone who will think of others. humanity. the people he hates the most, but also the people he loves the most. the reason why he can keep going, the reason why he can never live for himself. or maybe this is his way of giving up the fight. maybe he's cloaking his true selfishness under the guise of caring for Kate, and trying to avoid the bigger picture.
....whatever reason it is, it's still his reason. and he's still making this decision for himself.]
I'm a succubus.
[he thinks of bookman's disapproval, and kanda... he'd be angry, wouldn't he? he said not to die. we're destroyers. not saviors. but lavi has been as bad of an exorcist as he has been a bookman. and... yuu's not here. not with him.
if he was alive, then this conversation would never be happening.
[ is it cruel to do this now? with lavi, of all people? one of the people she's hurt more than anyone? maybe she is selfish, and a monster. but she has something she needs to do, no matter what. something that could give meaning to all of this before it's all over for her.
... and yet, there is a part of her that thinks how easy it would be to lie, and leave him safer for it.
[ upon the two of them finding each other, a glow will suddenly emit from both of their bodies. magic will course through them, and they will both feel that they have a wish waiting to be granted.
[Lavi doesn't move away. instead he turns his hand palm up so he can hold hers in his, feeling her tremble. feeling like he's made a crucial mistake and also the right decision, all in one. feeling that gnawing, empty part of him he's felt since arriving here -- finally stop, as their bodies glow and the magic runs through him -- whatever it is.
he takes a breath. thinks briefly that maybe they should have done this somewhere that isn't public, but it's too late for that.]
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Is he the person who trapped you? And the other kids?
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I believe he has a power that allows him to influence the minds of others. So... I would wish for this power to be gone, so that his rule over the manor may end. If that happened... maybe the children could take the manor for themselves. Or they could run away. They would be free to choose.
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...They really did this to you. The cult and their fucking rituals.
[I never intended to find my partner. I was never going to do it, but.]
I wish it wasn't you. I wish -- [his voice breaks] you hadn't killed him. I don't want you to kill someone else. But I don't want you to die like this.
[Failing to protect anyone. Just like I did.]
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... I'm sorry. I've put you in a terrible position, too.
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I'll be selfish. Just this once.
he can blame her and be angry at her for a heartbeat's worth of time.]
...I wanted to know, and I was willing to die for it. You gave me what I wanted.
[Can I do the same?]
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... ]
... If you've made up your mind, I'll accept your decision.
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...anyone else would think that means keeping his own life safe, and walking away from this moment. it's the smart decision. it would mean his life would be his, if only for a little longer. it's what Gramps would expect from him, the entire Bookman clan whose legacy rests on his shoulders. it's what some people who'd encourage him to do the selfish thing would want him to do too.
but in the end, maybe the person Lavi is will always be someone who will think of others. humanity. the people he hates the most, but also the people he loves the most. the reason why he can keep going, the reason why he can never live for himself. or maybe this is his way of giving up the fight. maybe he's cloaking his true selfishness under the guise of caring for Kate, and trying to avoid the bigger picture.
....whatever reason it is, it's still his reason. and he's still making this decision for himself.]
I'm a succubus.
[he thinks of bookman's disapproval, and kanda... he'd be angry, wouldn't he? he said not to die. we're destroyers. not saviors. but lavi has been as bad of an exorcist as he has been a bookman. and... yuu's not here. not with him.
if he was alive, then this conversation would never be happening.
but he's not.]
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... and yet, there is a part of her that thinks how easy it would be to lie, and leave him safer for it.
she reaches a hand to place it on his. ]
... I'm the same. A Succubus.
[ her hand trembles a little. ]
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we are going to dm you two in a bit. ]
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he takes a breath. thinks briefly that maybe they should have done this somewhere that isn't public, but it's too late for that.]
...You should wait until you remember them.
[to make her wish]
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... Thank you, Lavi.
[ I don't deserve this. ]
You should think of something new to wish for, too.
[ Something better than this miserable truth. ]
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You don't.
You deserve to be yourself when you make it. You deserve the chance to break free and go home.
He can't quite say it now, not on the heels of this moment, but he can think it -- and hope the thought is shared.]
...Maybe I'll ask for another truth. I know our wishes can't affect the ritual or the cult, but... maybe I can wish to know more about 'em.
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with her free hand, she rubs at her face. and nods. ]
Okay... I hope you find a good use for it.
When you decide on something, I'd like to hear about it.
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You too, yeah? ...Tell me when you make yours.
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[ and then, whatever happens... I'll be able to face it. ]
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Wanna head back to the house? I could really use a nap.
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